I have been told that the only true fear is the fear of dying and that ultimately all fear boils down to a fear of dying. What nonsense! While I am happy enough to be alive, I am not afraid of dying. What I am afraid of is pain.
I do not like pain, so often it will seem that I am trying to preserve my life while I scramble around on a rather dizzy chicken mission of pain avoidance.
There are many different kinds of pain. Tattoo pain is strangely moreish and thus stands alone in my experience of pain. Toothache, broken bones, deep cuts, sprains, headaches, stomach cramps and dental visits are just a few of the physical onslaughts to the pain threshold. Emotional pain includes the pain of rejection (which really is just an ego thing and therefore not real), the pain of loss and separation, the pain of feeling less than, the pain of failure and the pain of indifference.
My most avoided pain has been the one that has resulted in me failing to try. I am going to face that fear by doing the hardest things first in the day. I am going to paint at least one painting a day for the next four days. I will post them as I go.
Watch me try!
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